doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
