i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize