she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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