rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
