Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
