sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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