I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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