I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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