apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
