don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
