I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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