You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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