i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
