What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize