we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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