No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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