Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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