the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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