if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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