so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
