Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
