My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
