Dual....:-)
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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