I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
