Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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