the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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