just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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