I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize