I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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