the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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