If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize