so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and she was petting her beer can
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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