So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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