Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
