life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
