i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
