I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Come share oat with me in your robe
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
