You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
