I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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