is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize