This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
