You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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