kristin has been a bad kristin
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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