she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
