What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize