he wants to bone in the snuggie
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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