Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
