I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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