Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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