Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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