You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
