So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
