I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
