I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
