Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
