By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize