i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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