My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize