I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
