in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My vagina just clenched in fear
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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