My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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