You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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