Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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