Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
